Chat and Flirt

Modern dating advice for the internet.

Wednesday

24

August 2016

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COMMENTS

What Prevents You from Loving Yourself?

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In your daily life, are you guided by fear or love? What are the fears that block being loving to yourself and others?

How often is the question, “What is loving to myself and others– what is in my highest good and the highest good of another?” the question that guides your actions? Is there something in the way of you asking this question? What is the fear that gets in the way of loving yourself?

Ethan’s fear is that “If I’m open to love, I will be weak and then easily taken advantage of. I might lose my sharpness in business and then lose money. Business people will see that I’m a soft touch and run right over me.”

Alexis is stuck in her cycle of anger at her husband. In her mind, she knows that her controlling, blaming anger is pushing him away, yet she fears that “If I let go of the control, he will end up making a fool of me. The only way I can be safe from him doing something behind my back, like having an affair, is to keep a tight rein on him.” Alexis’s husband, Noah, has been staying away more and more, and coming home later and later. He doesn’t want to be around the anger. The more he stays away, the angrier Alexis gets. She is terrified to let go and see what will happen. Having a huge abandonment issue, and not doing the inner work to take care of herself, she is very afraid he will leave her. Rather than risk this, she keeps doing the very thing that pushes Noah away, while her fears continue to grow.

Each of these people are terrified at losing something – losing themselves, losing the other, losing face, losing money, losing power. None of them have the faith that if they are open to loving themselves and others, they will be supported by the vast power of Spirit. None of them are willing to risk opening to love and seeing what happens. As a result, they cannot create a strong enough connection with their spiritual guidance to know that their fears are not based on truth, but on their false beliefs.

Two things would need to happen for them to change:

They would need to be willing to risk having their worst fears happen. Until they are willing to find out whether or not their fears are based on truth, they will be stuck avoiding them. When they finally say, “Okay, if I’m abandoned, made a fool of, taken advantage of or completely controlled by another, so be it. Living this way isn’t working so I’m willing to see what will happen if I open,” then they will be open to learning and loving.

When they decide that the spiritual journey of becoming a loving human being is more important than whether or not they are hurt, rejected, controlled, or made a fool of, they will open. As long as they believe that the earthly journey of getting and controlling is more important than the spiritual journey of learning and loving, they will stay stuck.

Your soul remembers your spiritual journey. Your soul yearns to love and share love. Your soul yearns for the lightness of being that comes from opening to love. If you diligently practice inner Bonding, you will eventually connect with the deep desires of your soul and open your heart.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone and Skype Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

 

The post What Prevents You from Loving Yourself? appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

Tuesday

23

August 2016

0

COMMENTS

After Being Sued, Christian Mingle now Offering Same Sex Dating

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Gay men and women are now allowed to search and meet through dating site Christian Mingle, one of the largest niche dating sites in the industry. The site opened its platform to gay users after settling a lawsuit that claimed that it violated California’s non-discrimination law on the basis of sexual orientation.

According to th ...

Monday

22

August 2016

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Sunday

21

August 2016

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COMMENTS

The Best Body Language For Online Dating, Backed By Science

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Picture two online dating profiles. In one, your prospective date is hunched over with contracted shoulders and crossed arms. In the other, their spine is straight and they’re holding their arms up in a “V” shape.

Assuming you’re basing your choice only on the picture (because, well, like it or not, that’s often how it wor ...

Friday

19

August 2016

0

COMMENTS

Neil Clark Warren Steps Down as eHarmony’s CEO

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It's the end of an era. Los Angeles-based dating site eHarmony has announced that Neil Clark Warren - co-founder and star of the company's television ads – will retire as chief executive officer. He will remain as chairman, and longtime Vice President Grant Langston will take over as CEO.

Langston joined ...

Thursday

18

August 2016

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COMMENTS

Bumble App Expands its Reach Beyond Dating

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While Tinder is expanding its market share in the dating industry, Whitney Wolfe, one of Tinder’s ex co-Founders and now CEO of dating app Bumble, wants to take her app in a new direction outside of dating: business networking.

Bumble began as a dating app where women make the first move. Guys aren’t allowed to message or s ...

Tuesday

16

August 2016

0

COMMENTS

5 Warning Signs That Your Partner May Not Be Good in a Crisis

Written by , Posted in Advice

Sometimes the very things we find attractive in someone may actually be warning signs that they may not be good for us in the long run. Those high expectations that make him a success in business may turn to unnecessary pressure in a crisis. That dramatic flair that makes him exciting, may actually keep him from being a comfort to you in a time of need. Here are 5 warning signs that your guy may not be good in a crisis.

He can’t go with the flow.

How does he react when things don’t go according to plan? When you get stuck in traffic does he freak out? How about when plans change at the last minute? What does he do when you’re late? If your partner sweats the small stuff, don’t assume he’ll rise to the occasion when there’s a real crisis. Instead, what you see is probably what you’ll get. Most people don’t change personalities during a crisis. In fact, most revert to type. The guy who freaks out when there’s a change of plan, may not be able to handle the uncertainties of a health crisis, or have the flexibility he needs to be a great parent.

He has friends or family he chooses not to speak to anymore.

This is a big red flag. Anyone who is capable of cutting people out of their lives has the ability to see the world as black and white. The truth is that relationships, and life in general, have a lot of gray matter. The more forgiving someone is, the more empathy they have and the more supportive they are likely to be. Make sure you get the story on why he’s pushed someone away and ask yourself if you’d do the same.

He is a perfectionist.

There’s a big difference between someone with high expectations and a perfectionist. A perfectionist is defined in Merriman Webster dictionary as: a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable; especially: the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness. Need I say more? When a crisis hits, sometimes all you can do is get through the day. A perfectionist can’t let go of expectations and that pressure can be debilitating for someone going through a difficult time.

He talks much more about himself than you to his friends and family.

A supportive partner will be excited to share your accomplishments. He will be sure to mention how well you’re doing at work, or even some small thing that you’ve done that he’s proud of. An unsupportive partner will fail to mention both the big and small things that happen in your world. Instead, he will focus only on what he himself has done. This type of partner may resent the attention you receive during a crisis. 
 
He’s dramatic.

If your guy is the type who seems to create drama wherever he goes, a crisis may bring out the chance for even more. Instead of being the calm in your storm, he may bring on the thunder and add to your emotional burden.

So, now that you see the flags, what do you do? You may not need to kick your guy to the curb right now (unless you checked off every single one of these traits), but it’s good to take stock. Ask yourself how YOU are in a crisis? What do you need during your times of need? Maybe you are the strong one and you like it that way. Or maybe you get tired of always being the one who has to be stoic. Maybe the more intense he gets, the calmer you get and his demeanor doesn’t stress you out. If, on the other hand, you wind each other up, it may be time to think about making a change.

 

Andrea Hutton is a critically acclaimed author, speaker and breast cancer survivor. Her work on breast cancer and women’s wellness has been featured such varied outlets as: The Washington Post, Women’s Health and Psychology Today. As a breast cancer survivor, and patient advocate who has “been there, had that” Andrea Hutton is on a mission to empower and educate women on how to take charge of their own health. Andrea is the author of Bald is Better with Earrings – A Survivor’s Guide to Getting Through Breast Cancer (HarperCollins 2015). She is also a State Leader for the Young Survival Coalition, a graduate of Duke University and the National Breast Cancer Coalition’s prestigious Project Lead advocacy training program. For more information visit www.andreahutton.com.

The post 5 Warning Signs That Your Partner May Not Be Good in a Crisis appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

Tuesday

16

August 2016

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Sunday

14

August 2016

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Saturday

13

August 2016

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