Chat and Flirt

Modern dating advice for the internet.

Sunday

30

August 2015

0

COMMENTS

Match No Longer Requires Members to Register with Usernames

Written by , Posted in Articles

You can kiss SexyGirl88 goodbye. Usernames will no longer be part of the dating profile, at least on Match.com. The dating website giant has announced that it will no longer require its members to sign up with usernames, which have long been the cornerstone of the dating profile.

Since Match was created 20 years ago people have used catchy, cute, and frankly sometimes crazy usernames as a way to express themselves. But given the ubiquity of online datin ...

Saturday

29

August 2015

0

COMMENTS

How Do You Approach a Woman for a Date?

Written by , Posted in Articles

We all have social anxiety to some degree, but some people have an easier time walking up to total strangers and striking up a conversation. For others, the fear of rejection is so strong it prevents them from even saying hello to someone who catches their eye.

So what can you do about dating if you tend to be shy in social situations?

It’s not easy. But thanks to online dating, some of the initial barriers to conversation have been removed. Chatting with someone onlin ...

Friday

28

August 2015

0

COMMENTS

Ashley Madison Facing A $760 Million Class Action Lawsuit Over Hack

Written by , Posted in Articles

The bad news just keeps coming for Ashley Madison.

The adultery dating site was hacked last month by a group calling itself The Impact Team. At the time of the security breach, The Impact Team threatened to release customer records online if Ashley Madison was not shut down.

Avid Life Media (ALM), which runs Ashley Madison and other dating sites, did not back down and the hackers made good on their threat. More than 30 million email addresses and credit card numbers ha ...

Thursday

27

August 2015

0

COMMENTS

Why Men are More Distant in Relationships

Written by , Posted in Advice

Women immerse themselves in their romantic relationships, while men place their romantic partners on an equal but distant footing, according to research from Oxford University.

The study shows that, generally, women are more invested in their relationships than men and that their happiness and well-being is more dependent upon how things are going in their intimate relationships.

Is this a surprise to you? It’s not a surprise to me.

After all, who’s usually the one who recognizes when things in the relationship aren’t working too well? The woman. Who is it that typically seeks professional help for the relationship? The woman. Who is it that mostly spends time reading self-help books and going to seminars about relationships? The woman. But why is it this way?

Women are biologically wired as the nurturers. They’re the ones with the skills to anticipate the needs of their partners, take care of nurturing the relationship and do the problem solving when things have gone awry. Men are more biologically wired as the providers and protectors. It’s not that the relationship isn’t important to them; it’s just that they show it in different ways — by working hard, establishing a career, and maintaining an emotional distance.

You may ask yourself, “How can I change him? How can I make him more involved in this relationship?” I say, you shouldn’t — so don’t even try.

The simple fact is that men and women are different. 

They tend to have different benefits in relationships but they are both interested in intimacy. Young adult women tend to focus mostly on their need for connection. This manifests in having children, creating homes, and nurturing their intimate relationships. That’s not to say women don’t have careers. They do but most prioritize these connecting activities.

Most young adult males focus on their need for significance. They’re interested in making their way in the world and having an impact. This is not to say they don’t have relationships, start families, and create homes. They do, but their priority is typically focused on work.

This dynamic tends to shift in middle age as children leave home. Women believe they’ve invested and sacrificed for their family and now it’s their turn. They go back to school, change careers or develop their own businesses. At this same stage of life, men tend to realize their children are gone and they missed a lot. They’re tired of the rat race and feel ready for connection. So, in a lot of ways, men and women flip roles.

These differences make relationships interesting. Imagine if both of you focused on connection at the same time. You’d feel blissfully happy with each other … but nothing would get done. Similarly, if you are both primarily focused on significance, then you’d have financial success … but have little in the way of intimacy.

Recognize the differences. Embrace the differences. And appreciate what you both bring to your relationship (and don’t forget to tell each other of your appreciation). Allowing each person to embrace who they are and celebrating that will do the best job to increase the intimacy in your relationships.

More at YourTango:

15 Ways Guys Say I Love You Without Saying a Word

10 Ways to Know He’s Head over Heels for You

Don’t Commit to Your Guy Until You Know 7 Things

Article originally posted at YourTango

The post Why Men are More Distant in Relationships appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

Thursday

27

August 2015

0

COMMENTS

The Power of Expectation

Written by , Posted in Advice

Did you know that your life, your relationships, and your body as it is right now is a result of what you expected to come about in your life? Did you know that because of the Law of Perception, what you perceive as “good” or “bad” will, in fact, be drawn to you, whether you like it or not?

Simply put, the Law of Expectations is basically whatever one presumes, with emotion and belief, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you expect the best, what you anticipate with earnest desire will improve.

Likewise, if your habitual thoughts reflect self-doubt and limiting beliefs, then you will surely have more reasons to complain. Just as you expect the best, so it is when you expect things to be difficult. When you focus on lack and hardship, you will attract more of what you do not want into your life.

Your expectations are brought about by your self-image and beliefs. Your beliefs are the foundation of your thoughts and feelings; it’s why you think the way you do and why you take the action you do—it is all based on your belief system and what you expect in your life.

How to Shift into the Power of Positive Expectation

You can shift from self-doubt to powerful expectation by changing your thoughts from “I can’t” to “I can” to develop your strengths and lessen your weaknesses. Focus on your desires of what you truly want with faith, believing that you can achieve anything you set your mind to!

Release the self-doubts of “I don’t think I can …” or the limiting beliefs of “Life is hard …” by thinking, “I expect wonderful people, circumstance, and events” and “Life is beautiful and easy.” You can blast through the limiting ceiling in your mind by being positive to establish powerful, self-supporting beliefs. By doing so, your faith will increase and your expectations will shift to that of “expecting to receive” rather than “expecting to fail.” Before you know it, you will see the rewards from your efforts.

Rather than giving your attention to what you do not want, focus on what you DO want. Visualize your dreams as if you were ALREADY living them. Your thoughts will impress upon your body as to what to do, which ignites action, either wanted or unwanted. That’s why it’s imperative to think positively with the expectation to receive.

The more proactive you are in attaining your desires, the more you will set positive energy into motion, which will attract back to you like energy.

To create a new mindset of expecting, do the following exercise to imprint the energy of expectation steadfastly in your mind.

1. Write on a sheet of paper what it is you desire to become, do, or have. Next, write if you really believe you can manifest what you want or not. (Note: what you “think twice” about or doubt is an area in which you have limiting beliefs of receiving.)

2. To clear a limiting belief of the dreams you doubt, write, “I am a creator. I create my life on purpose!” and “I will achieve my dreams!” You can also write, “I willingly release all doubts and fears associated with this desire” or “I expect my dreams to come true.”

3. To establish a new belief of what you desire and expect in your life, get in the habit of looking at yourself in the mirror each day and saying, “I willingly receive. I am …” and say what you desire to become. Do that for the next 30 days until it becomes a new self-affirming belief. As you tell yourself your new truths, feel how awesome it will be when you are living your dreams. Always end with love and thankfulness for that which will be.

By incorporating these simple exercises into your life, you will be able to incorporate the power of the Law of Expectations, and you will soon discover just how magical life can be.

 

Carol Whitaker is the author of Ridiculously Happy! The Secret to Manifesting the Life & Body of Your Dreams. Carol is a highly sought-after lifestyle fitness and life coach and is well known for the amazing transformations she creates in her clients’ lives. Carol is a motivational speaker and is passionate about inspiring men and women to live a ridiculously happy, fit life. Carol is an ongoing featured expert on national media and online websites. She is dedicated to helping people accomplish their dreams. Carol is a happily married mother of three. Connect with Carol on Facebook to receive her health, fitness, and happiness tips or follow her on Twitter. Visit CarolWhitaker.com to learn more about her transformation services, along with tools and secrets to discover how to create your best life today.

The post The Power of Expectation appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

Thursday

27

August 2015

0

COMMENTS

Is Dating Dying Out In Japan?

Written by , Posted in Articles

Japan has a well-deserved reputation for being a techno locally advanced nation, but there's one piece of the technological puzzle they haven't mastered: online dating.

Japan is a cultural and economic powerhouse faced with a serious population crisis. The country's overall population will reportedly contract by almost a third within the next 90 years. Its birthrate is one of the lowest on earth, and the marriage rate is also declining.

On top of that, a ...

Wednesday

26

August 2015

0

COMMENTS

7 Things Not to Take For Granted When You’re Single

Written by , Posted in Advice

When you’d give anything – and we mean anything – to meet someone special to share your life with, it can be (very) annoying to hear: “But, trust me, you’ll miss these times one day!!” Especially when those words are coming from your dearest friend, who has, in your opinion, what seems like the happiest relationship.

But before you start to turn green with envy, remember the different kind of green: the other side of the relationship token, where single life gives you some advantages that coupled-up folks don’t always have the opportunity to enjoy. While you hope to – and let’s be real, you will! – meet someone to share your life with, having a few months or years to be single and make choices for yourself, without considering anyone else, is a blessing in disguise. Apart from teaching you how to stand confidently on your own and having the freedom to come and go (or sit and read) as you please, this time of flying solo can make you stronger and feel freer than any other part of your life.

In no particular order, here are some pretty killer things to never take for granted when you’re single:

1. That Netflix cue? It’s all yours. One day, you’ll have to share it with Mr. Law & Order SVU.

You know your saved favorites? And how you look forward to crawling into bed to watch that late-night episode before falling asleep? Well, one day, you’ll have someone who might get a bit upset if you skip ahead in the season… or when you want to watch a girly movie and he’s not into it. Savor that que, babe.

2. Whatever you want for dinner, you got it. But not forever.

Pick up Chipotle on your way home from bootcamp class? Or decide you’ll just have some carrots and guac with some banana chips for dessert? Enjoy having your own dinner schedule because when you live with someone, you’ll have to talk about what you’re having for dinner on gchat.. every darn day.

3. Feel kind of overwhelmed by your summer plans and weddings to attend? Now double those invites.

Yep, his second cousin’s second wedding that’s a 5-hour flight away is just as important as your high school best friend’s bachelorette party in Vegas. Start strategizing those vacation days now.

4. Love sleeping with five pillows in the middle of your bed? One day, we’re sorry, but you’ll have to share.

He might not be a fan of surrounding himself with pillows and might not like that you push him off the bed to make more space for your dog.

5. Want to do absolutely nothing but sleep late, take a mid-day yoga class and go shopping on the weekends? Do it now.

Because when you meet someone pretty great, you’ll want to spend some time with him. You might even stay up late. Or he might snore and wake you up and you’ll be too tired for downward dog. Or you’ll have another one of those BBQs or weddings to attend. You’re free girl, savor it.

6. Last-minute, solo trip to the Caribbean with the girls, just because you have some money and it’s a good price? Book that baby!

…because one day, you probably will want to take your man along for a romantic getaway. Or you’ll want to save that cash for something more practical, like a house, a wedding…or babies.

7. Do you love your framed artwork and your shabby-chic style? Or maybe you’re more modern with colorful accents. However you like to design your space… go crazy now.

Because he might not want that image of Marilyn Monroe or inspirational quote calendar to hang in your living room when you move in together.

What do you love about being single?

Lindsay Tigar is a 26-year-old single writer, editor, and blogger living in New York City. She started her popular dating blog, Confessions of a Love Addict, after one too many terrible dates with tall, emotionally unavailable men (her personal weakness) and is now developing a book about it, represented by the James Fitzgerald Agency. She writes for eHarmony, YourTango, REDBOOK, and more. When she isn’t writing, you can find her in a boxing or yoga class, booking her next trip, sipping red wine with friends or walking her cute pup, Lucy.

The post 7 Things Not to Take For Granted When You’re Single appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

Wednesday

26

August 2015

0

COMMENTS

6 Things to Stop Now if You Want a Successful Relationship

Written by , Posted in Advice

Ready for a relationship that will last? Here are six things you need to QUIT first!

1. Quit thinking it WON’T last. Going into a relationship thinking it’s doomed means only one thing – it is. Every time things aren’t perfect you’ll feel validated. “See? I knew it. We didn’t have a chance.” If you honestly believe relationships will never stand the test of time then the reality is you will sabotage each one to ensure that you are right. You will test each partner to see how much of your bad behavior they can tolerate before finally leaving you as you yell, “I knew you’d never stay” to a slamming door. If this is you–don’t date until you’ve figured this out.

2. Quit playing games. You’re mad. Or sad. Or hurt. Your partner asks, “What’s wrong?” And you say, “nothing.” Or yell about something else entirely later that evening. Stupid, childish, relationship-killing games. Eventually people keep score. Get even. Withdraw affection. Stop trying to even find an answer. Instead? Talk to each other! Explain. Listen. Find a solution. Take hurt and anger out of the equation because they are two of the most manipulative, reactive, and dangerous emotions to use while trying to communicate respectfully.

3. Quit thinking love is enough. In the long run, couples who make it through the good and bad still caring for each other have more going for them than just love. They truly LIKE their partner too. Liking can get you through a lot. Love is about attraction. Commitment. Attachment. But liking is about the joy. Respect. Fun. And contentment. If you can look at your partner and say you genuinely LIKE them. Want to be with them. Can talk to them. Can be FRIENDS with them – then you’ve got something to hold on to.

4.Quit being jealous. If they truly can’t be trusted – then why would you date them in the first place? And if they are trustworthy but you have a problem because of past betrayals, then get your own act together before you demolish someone else’s self-esteem with your insecurities and baggage. The flip side? If you find yourself in a relationship where the other person is jealous and you are doing nothing to warrant it? Walk away fast. Jealousy is NOT a sign of love. It’s possessive and demeaning. Long lasting relationships are anchored in trust.

5.Quit settling for less than you want. Relationships are based on equal balances of power. Meaning each brings some strengths to the table that the other one doesn’t have. When you accept someone who doesn’t meet (or even come close) to what you want – you’re settling. And settling never made anyone happy long term. Successful couples last because they both respect the value and worth of the other.

6.Quit thinking you need someone else in order to be happy. Go about your life. Stop waiting. Make friends. Be outstanding at work. Travel. Get in shape. Eat healthy. Be happy. The kind of person you are looking for doesn’t want an unhappy, miserable, lonely or desperate partner. The more you take care of yourself and become self-fulfilled the more people will want to be with you. Love you. Stay with you. It’s time to QUIT some behaviors that create dysfunctional partnerships and start attracting people who love you and want to be with you for all the right reasons.

Connie Podesta is a game-changing, idea-generating ball of fire whose rare blend of humor, substance, style and personality have made her one of the most memorable, in-demand speakers in the world today. 25 years. Two million people. 1000 organizations. Hall of Fame speaker. Award-winning author.  Seven books. Former Radio/TV personality. Human Relations Expert. Therapist for 30 years. Topics on sales, leadership, change, life balance and success. And (what we all probably could use now and then)…a Comedienne. To learn more about her strategies, insights, and solutions, visit her online today at www.conniepodesta.com. While you’re there – read the first chapter of her powerful new eBook Redefining Happiness or watch some of her powerful videos!

The post 6 Things to Stop Now if You Want a Successful Relationship appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

Wednesday

26

August 2015

0

COMMENTS

Have Dating Apps Helped or Hindered Dating?

Written by , Posted in Articles

A recent article in [link:www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating Vanity Fair] made the argument that apps like Tinder have ruined dating. Reporter Nancy Jo Sales interviewed single twenty-somethings to get their impressions of online dating, and it wasn’t pretty. They admit that “Tinder sucks” and yet they still keep swiping for lack of a better way to date.

Part of the problem, she argues, is that people have a hook-up mentality with dating apps ...

Monday

24

August 2015

0

COMMENTS