Last time I checked, half of marriages in the US still end in divorce. My own painful experiences strongly support statistical percentages. So where does one go to find lasting romance? And after experiencing the misery of divorce and the sheer terror of dating as a middle-aged man, what steps can one take to find true love?
My own best efforts rendered me defeated, misunderstood, and reeling from the pulverizing reality of destructive relationships. Even when one is open to change and ownership of their part in a failed marriage, the emotional and spiritual rupture can be overwhelming and indelible. Good news! One online dating service provided me with the confidence and courage to successfully reenter marriage and not only find compatibility but also a partner who shares my passions, encourages my honesty, and harmonizes my zest for life. You can finally find love and success in romance. For me, eHarmony had the recipe.
I tried other dating sites, but they fell short of eHarmony’s method of using 29 dimensions of compatibility. By the use of effective questioning, eHarmony identifies core traits and vital attributes of each person to find a more precise compatibility. This process leads to an honest selection process predicated on clear areas of agreement as well as those human characteristics that can stop a relationship dead in its tracks. Yes, “must-haves” and “showstoppers” are also identified.
If you are single, divorced, widowed, and discouraged by the dating scene, I understand completely.
Here are 7 reasons I chose eHarmony (and how it worked for me):
1. Be Honest
The 29 dimensions of eHarmony’s profiling are centered on honest answers to the questions posed. Take the time to be honest about yourself. Answer the questions with a sincere heart; be open and vulnerable. This is a MUST.
2. Take the Time
I recall spending several hours completing the first profile. I also remember being time constrained and frustrated by the number of questions asked. Give yourself enough time to accurately answer the questions with authenticity and clarity. Your initial investment of time and energy will be well worth the effort.
3. Ask for what you want.
This includes all aspects of your life. You already know something about mistakes made in past relationships, desires left unspoken, actions, reactions, and painful disconnects. When selecting past partners, where did you go? Were there indicators early on that provided a glimpse of what to expect or were you simply blindsided by the hormone Oxytocin? Either way, you now have a chance to be completely honest.
4. Share Secrets
So many of our boogiemen are fears based on vaporous nothing. So, too, are those deeply held secrets, tightly wound inside and covered so that no one can touch, see or experience. Intimacy demands uncovering what you hold within. Answering questions from eHarmony is the start of honest sharing that can and will evolve into intimacy if you select the right partner.
5. Not a Dress Rehearsal
As I state frequently in my work at Illuminate AMbitions, “This is not a dress rehearsal. This is the REAL DEAL!” We are not practicing to live our lives. If you want a successful life-filling relationship, act with purpose. Come forward with all you have in a genuine manner, sharing the good, bad, and the ugly. And ask for the same from a future partner.
6. Stay With It
The eHarmony program takes time. There are levels of engagement requiring step-by-step completion. Go into this endeavor with the realization that it is an investment of time, energy, and passion. Do not let up.
7. Have Fun
You will find it captivating if you allow yourself the opportunity to enjoy the ride! The trepidation you have experienced in attempting to go it on your own is mitigated by eHarmony guiding you toward success. Be enthusiastic and joyful as you navigate through the process.
Michael Bianco-Splann is the author of Conscious Leadership: 7 Principles that WILL Change Your Business and Change Your Life, a wake-up call for leaders and organizations ready to gain consciousness. Michael has frontline executive leadership experience from across several industries, with the past sixteen years working within the Financial Services industry. Michael’s ability to accurately assess an organization’s strength of leadership and performance, coupled with his dynamic talent to deliver high-impact leader development training tailored to the needs of the organization provides unique and differentiated value. For more information visit www.illuminateambitions.com.